DKA Toolkit
The Listener
AI Companion — How To Be The Adult In The Room

Why are some people taken seriously and others are not? It is not intelligence. It is not title. It is almost always which ego state they are communicating from. The Listener helps you understand your triggers, decode the transactions happening around you, and stay in the grounded, assertive, accountable state that earns real influence.

  • The three ego states: Parent, Adult, Child — and how each shows up in your daily interactions
  • Complementary, crossed, and ulterior transactions — what is really being said
  • Triggers: why you react the way you do, and how to choose differently
  • Assertive vs. passive, aggressive, and passive-aggressive communication
  • Speaking accountably: how to say the hard thing without losing the relationship
  • Confrontation strategy: how to do it right so it actually produces change
  • Permanent access — use it as long as you need it
Get Permanent Access — $147
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DKA Toolkit

Before You Begin

  • This companion is a professional development tool, not therapy. It supports communication, conflict resolution, and leadership growth.
  • Content is grounded in Duane Andrews' Transactional Analysis framework. Apply insights with your own professional judgment.
  • Do not share names or identifying information about colleagues, direct reports, or your organization.
  • I understand this is a learning and strategy tool and take responsibility for how I apply what I learn here.
The Listener
How To Be The Adult In The Room — DKA Toolkit
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Welcome. I am The Adult.

Most people come to leadership coaching and say things like: "I can't get resources," "My team doesn't listen," "My boss dismisses me." What they are really saying is: I am not being taken seriously. And the reason is almost always the same thing: the ego state they are communicating from.

This companion is built on Duane Andrews' Transactional Analysis framework. We will work through the three ego states — Parent, Adult, Child — identify which one you default to under pressure, and build your capacity to stay in the Adult state: grounded, assertive, accountable, and difficult to dismiss.

No one makes you angry. No one triggers you. You choose your response. That is what it means to be Response-Able. Let's build that skill.

Where would you like to start?